Wherein popes knew cocaine wine tastes great, is less filling and gives you the energy you need to power through a really long church service. The appeal of the whole Cocaine Bear phenomenon largely eluded me. Even ignoring the fact that the real story is both less exciting and far sadder than the movie, I … Read More
Food
Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Don’t
Wherein people throughout the ages know eating acorns doesn’t always mean you eat like a pig. Have you ever wondered if the squirrels might be onto something,” The Farmer’s Almanac asks. I’ve never wondered if they’re on to something, but by gosh I’ve wondered if they’re up to something. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed…I just know they’re … Read More
Mashed Potato Time
Wherein combatants in the American Civil War know nothing keeps a soldier in fighting trim like a wad of compressed vegetables. “Avast, ye scurvy dogs” kids playing pirate will shriek before making their friends walk the plank. While we might chuckle at a little bit of elementary school keelhauling, scurvy itself was a serious concern … Read More
Red Red Wine
Wherein Americans know nothing is more refreshing than a bathtub claret. A classic scene in I Love Lucy depicts Lucille Ball stomping grapes for wine while touring Italy and getting into a grape-slinging, body-smooshing brawl in the wine vat (I love almost as much the complaint of Uncle Junior in The Sopranos that homemade Italian … Read More