Wherein combatants in the American Civil War know nothing keeps a soldier in fighting trim like a wad of compressed vegetables. “Avast, ye scurvy dogs” kids playing pirate will shriek before making their friends walk the plank. While we might chuckle at a little bit of elementary school keelhauling, scurvy itself was a serious concern … Read More
Tonight I’m Gonna Party Like It’s a 500 BCE Symposium
Wherein the Greeks know the best philosophical discussions include singing, wine pong and courtesans. Some scholars and professors—at least ones who are not at all like me—find one of the highlights of their profession to be academic conferences. For those of you who’ve never indulged in such unrelenting excitement, let’s lift the veil on modern … Read More
I Love That Dirty Water
Wherein the people of Georgian England know a clean baby is a slimy baby. It’s time for my not-so-celebrated annual article about bathing! In reality, it would be time in about two months, but at the rate at which I’m putting out articles these days there’s no guarantee the next one will come out by … Read More
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Mummy in My Tummy
Wherein Europeans for centuries knew powdered human corpses give you the energy and strength to walk like an Egyptian…a living one. I’ve never understood people who play with their children by pretending to eat them: “Oh, you’re so cute I could eat you up! I’ll just nibble those little toes…nom nom nom!” I’m always relieved … Read More
