Wherein the Greeks know the best way to stay hydrated while exercising is to get tore up. Sports drink commercials feature a veritable tsunami of fluids: sweat dripping and running from well-toned athletes, sports drinks pouring from wide-mouthed bottles down the gulping gullets of said athletes, Leonardo DiCaprio sinking blue into the ocean depths…okay, maybe … Read More
Medicine
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Mummy in My Tummy
Wherein Europeans for centuries knew powdered human corpses give you the energy and strength to walk like an Egyptian…a living one. I’ve never understood people who play with their children by pretending to eat them: “Oh, you’re so cute I could eat you up! I’ll just nibble those little toes…nom nom nom!” I’m always relieved … Read More
A Slobbery Night Guard
Wherein the Babylonian solution to nocturnal teeth-grinding is a week of skull-snogging. I grind my teeth: stuck in traffic, difficulty on a project, my favorite team playing poorly…all day long, grind grind grind. My tendency to grind my teeth in my sleep necessitates wearing a night guard, which of course has rough pits over the … Read More
