Wherein the Romans say “what the pluck” to body hair. I’m hairy noon and nighty-night night, my hair is a fright,” sang the Cowsills (in a song I butchered in my own not-so-inimitable style in an earlier article), and this certainly reflected the hirsute look beloved of the song’s hippies. I recently rewatched the film … Read More
Beauty
I Love That Dirty Water
Wherein the people of Georgian England know a clean baby is a slimy baby. It’s time for my not-so-celebrated annual article about bathing! In reality, it would be time in about two months, but at the rate at which I’m putting out articles these days there’s no guarantee the next one will come out by … Read More
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Mummy in My Tummy
Wherein Europeans for centuries knew powdered human corpses give you the energy and strength to walk like an Egyptian…a living one. I’ve never understood people who play with their children by pretending to eat them: “Oh, you’re so cute I could eat you up! I’ll just nibble those little toes…nom nom nom!” I’m always relieved … Read More
I Think I’m Going Bald
Wherein the Romans know fly heads and donkey genitals are just the thing to maintain a youthful head of hair. Few Rush fans would consider their song I Think I’m Going Bald to be a rock classic—even Geddy Lee says, “The music is really goofy. A lot of people mistake us for being deadly serious, … Read More
